Hard to Love

Shi Sui slowly digested these few words.

Dating, without letting anyone know.

Wasn't this an underground relationship?

She didn't dare to think deeply about Yan Tingli's intentions-why he would rather be this kind of boyfriend who couldn't see the light of day than give up on establishing their relationship.

She couldn't think about it.

Don't think! If she thought about it, she'd go dig wild vegetables tomorrow!

So she used her usual turtle strategy-retreating into her shell.

"Why... do we have to date?"

Yan Tingli wasn't surprised at all, and even leaned closer slightly, considerately giving her a way out: "How long?"

"Ah."

"Time to consider."

Shi Sui swallowed and held up one finger.

Yan Tingli: "Then one day."

"?" Shi Sui: "This is one week!"

Yan Tingli looked at her quietly, his gaze making Shi Sui's heart feel guilty, almost making her slide to her knees and change her answer.

He slowly smiled: "Agreeing after one week is also fine."

"Mm." Shi Sui responded.

One second later, she realized something was wrong.

"I'm just considering, I didn't say I would agree!"

After two seconds of silence, she still couldn't help but say: "...If it's not public, then dating or not dating isn't different from before."

"What were we originally?"

Shi Sui paused, enduring the shame and reluctantly saying: "Fuck. Buddies."

Yan Tingli: "And after we start dating?"

"...Boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Which sounds better?"

Shi Sui was dumbfounded, unable to tell if she felt disappointed or speechless: "...Just because of this?"

"Partly." Yan Tingli's emotions seemed to stabilize, even showing a tendency toward being willing to chat.

"Then what else?"

"If you're my girlfriend," he rested his hand on the car window, his eyelashes dropping, his voice gentle and light, making it impossible to tell if he was being sincere, "would you love me more?"

Shi Sui was stunned for a long while.

After a long while, she found her voice: "I..."

Before she could finish, Yan Tingli suddenly took her hand and placed it on a certain part of his leg: "Would you?"

"..." All of Shi Sui's stirring emotions and conscience instantly vanished as she pulled her hand back: "Get lost!"

She knew it!!!

Annoyed, she got out of the car without looking back.

When she drove away, she looked left and right, making sure no one was around before quickly jogging out.

That morning, a drizzle began to fall. Yan Tingli didn't go to school with her, and strangely, Yan Zecheng and Song Jie, who usually only showed up once a month, both appeared at the Yan residence at the same time, dressed in plain black.

At that time, Shi Sui didn't know what they were going to do.

She only remembered that when she came back that evening, the Yan residence was very quiet, even the several aunties who usually had smiling faces were solemn, their expressions full of unspoken secrets.

Moonlight illuminated half of his profile; the young man's heaven-gifted appearance was a gift from above.

What should have been a melodious tune was played by him with coldness and sharpness.

Making her suddenly feel.

He was also like her, wandering lonely in this maze-like big house.

And in this house that was so big it felt empty, there were only he and she.

At this moment, the girl's heartstrings seemed to become the struck piano keys, jumping with the musical notes, suddenly soaring, then rapidly falling.

But in this instant.

Along with the heart-flutter came panic.

Song Jie's casual remark about "not knowing one's place" was branded in her heart like a curse.

The indulgence after the college entrance exam was already transgressive.

Whether Yan Tingli would force her to marry was still too far away to think about now.

She stood on the balcony spacing out while watching the students coming and going downstairs, whispering softly: "Then what should I do?"

"Refuse him, firmly, swiftly."

Shi Sui remained silent, and Zhou Xuyan read something from her silence, "Did he force you to agree?"

Shi Sui wanted to say no.

But Yan Tingli had forced her on everything.

"...Mm."

"Don't worry, let me think, let me think." Zhou Xuyan stood up, walked around the room several times, then suddenly said, "How about you run now."

Shi Sui was startled: "Run?"

"Right, you should run, Sui Sui!" Zhou Xuyan thought it was more and more feasible and jumped up suddenly, "How did I not think of this before, you should run, the farther the better, go abroad."

Shi Sui picked at the railing with her fingers, feeling it wasn't very realistic: "I still have to finish college."

"Exchange." Zhou Xuyan said, "You secretly applied for exchange."

Shi Sui was stunned, slowly digesting the information.

Zhou Xuyan had indeed opened up a path she had never envisioned.

A University indeed had many overseas exchange programs for sophomores and juniors, though they had requirements for a resume and grades.

Shi Sui's were at the front of the class, but exchange required being very good at dealing with people, which she wasn't good at. Most importantly, she was introverted and homesick by nature.

If she went abroad, she'd be even farther from her parents.

What Shi Sui thought about farthest was only returning to Hangzhou after graduation to stay by her parents' side.

"But he wants me to answer in one week." Shi Sui said seriously.

"Silly," Zhou Xuyan said carelessly, "then you just agree first, stabilize the situation, then find the right timing to slip away."

Shi Sui lowered her eyes, thinking deeply for a long time.

After agreeing and then running away... wouldn't Yan Tingli remember this for a lifetime?

Zhou Xuyan: "You don't dare?"

Shi Sui was a coward who was content with the status quo. Unless absolutely necessary, it was hard for her to truly have the courage to fly far away.

"...Mm." She said quietly.

"It's okay if you don't dare now," Zhou Xuyan comforted, "just keep it in mind, treat this as a backup plan."

After chatting with Zhou Xuyan, Shi Sui's mood relaxed considerably.

When she thought about her relationship with Yan Tingli again, she could finally sort out some clarity-

If she reached that point someday.

At worst.

She would just run.

Run far away.

Yan Tingli could never find her again.

Zhou Xuyan's call had just ended when the screen lit up.

Seeing the WeChat message from Song Jie, Shi Sui's heart jumped.

With so many things happening, she almost forgot that Yan Tingli had just used her phone to say such rebellious things to Song Jie.

Song Jie didn't say much; the general meaning was that it was hard for her to make the trip, Yan Tingli was immature, and she hoped Shi Sui wouldn't take offense.

Shi Sui quickly gave an official reply, absolutely not asking any extra questions.

Probably quite satisfied with her reaction, Song Jie finally said she saw a very beautiful jade bracelet that had been blessed at a temple, and would give it to her next time she came home.

Song Jie was always generous, regularly sending her some expensive gifts. Shi Sui would accept them, but basically only wore them when Song Jie was present, to show appreciation.

Most of the time, these gifts were piled up in the cabinet in her bedroom at the Yan residence.

Once when Yan Tingli was monopolizing her bed, seeing her carefully put things away for fear of damaging them, he curled his lips mockingly: "Are you going to enshrine these things?"

Shi Sui: "It wouldn't be good if they got worn out."

"Just throw them out when they're old."

Shi Sui was helpless: "Who would throw away things that others gave with good intentions?"

Yan Tingli said indifferently: "They're all bought by the secretary; she won't remember."

Shi Sui was speechless: "But these are all Aunt Song's thoughtful intentions."

"Fake emotional things are just an eyesore when kept around."

Although Shi Sui knew Song Jie didn't like her much, hearing Yan Tingli describe it so nakedly still made her feel somewhat uncomfortable.

"You're the one who's fake." She retaliated.

At that time, Yan Tingli only tugged his lips slightly.

Of course, she didn't throw the things away, but Shi Sui never wore them again.

Later, in the apartment.

Her cabinet always mysteriously had many identical luxury items appear.

When she asked Yan Tingli, he told her to take them and play with them.

"Keep them," followed by a casual, "nothing is more real than this."

Yan Tingli certainly wouldn't buy fake goods.

But even now, Shi Sui still didn't dare to think deeply about what this "real" actually meant.

Coming back from her memories, looking at the message she hadn't replied to yet, Shi Sui lightly tapped the screen, thanking Song Jie once again.

Song Jie replied: [No need to be polite]

Friday elective class.

At noon before class, Shi Sui received a message from Yan Tingli: [No time this afternoon, not coming]

A few seconds later, another message came.

[No time tonight either, don't come over]

Seeing the message, Shi Sui first felt relieved, simply refreshed, and invigorated.

Then a sense of incongruity struck her.

When had Yan Tingli started reporting to her whether he was attending class or not? He never wasted words online, considering it a waste of time.

The word "reporting" suddenly emerged in her mind, making her shiver.

She stared intently for a while.

Shi Sui silently closed her phone.

"The bell's about to ring. Why hasn't Yan Tingli come yet?" Lin Anran looked left and right, whispering.

Zhu Wei in the back row yawned boredly: "Yeah, if I can't get him, at least getting a few glances would be some consolation."

Xue Jing opened her book: "Don't you guys know?"

Shi Sui's ears perked up alertly.

Tomorrow's RobotCup, a robot competition, will have the finals being held right at our school. He's preparing for it."

"How do you know?" Lin Anran asked.

"I'm in the student council, we have to help with this event," Xue Jing raised her eyebrows proudly, "I get all the inside information first-hand."

Shi Sui blinked.

She remembered last weekend when she was drawing in the study, Yan Tingli should have been outside designing algorithms while adjusting Little Snail.

He was probably already busy with this competition then.

"Speaking of which, I almost forgot, I have inside tickets here," Xue Jing took out tickets from her book and waved them, "Do you guys want to go watch?"

Lin Anran was suspicious of Xue Jing's sudden kindness: "You're not trying to trick us into filling head count quotas, are you?"

Xue Jing laughed in exasperation: "Listen to that, what kind of talk is that? This kind of cutting-edge technology competition is extremely hard to get tickets for! Today our Youth League teacher still wanted to get one for his kid."

"Alright, alright, I misjudged you." Lin Anran stuck out her tongue and casually pulled away a ticket.

Zhu Wei in the front row also grabbed one without ceremony, smiling: "There should be quite a few handsome engineering guys, I'll go take a look too."

People from the neighboring dorm also wanted to grab some, but Xue Jing dodged: "Hey, hey, save one for Sui Sui."

Shi Sui, who was enjoying a rare moment of leisure, coughed lightly: "It's fine, I'm not going."

"Didn't you say at lunch that you're not going home tomorrow?" Xue Jing asked her.

Shi Sui thought for a moment and found an excuse: "I don't like robots."

As she spoke, the class bell rang.

Xue Jing's remaining words got stuck in her throat.

Very coincidentally.

The professor finished the lesson early, and seeing there were still five minutes left, he pulled out the attendance sheet from the thick textbook and said with a smile: "Since there's nothing else to do, let's take attendance."

The words "take attendance" instantly woke up the drowsy classroom.

Thinking of the absent Yan Tingli, Shi Sui blinked lightly.

Not only was she not anxious, but she even felt a bit like watching a show.

Serves you right for not coming, serves you right for skipping class.

Deduct points, deduct points, deduct points.

Best if he fails, then he won't be allowed to take their classes anymore.

The professor called Yan Tingli's name twice, but no one responded.

Shi Sui was gloating over her mental scenario.

Suddenly-

The chair to her right sank.

Accompanied by a clear, low voice: "Present."

"..." Shi Sui's smile froze, petrified on the spot.

The familiar and detestable light mint fragrance drifted from beside her.

The professor put down the attendance sheet and looked over his glasses: "Student Yan, did you just arrive?"

Yan Tingli deflected, saying without blushing or breathing hard: "I just went out to take an urgent phone call."

The professor had an impression of this genius from the Institute of Interdisciplinary Information Studies. After thinking for a moment, he was still somewhat suspicious.

He turned his gaze to Shi Sui beside him: "Then could the student next to you tell me, has Student Yan been in class the whole time?"

Shi Sui's smile disappeared.

She felt Yan Tingli's half-smiling gaze directed at her: "Classmate, I've been sitting next to you in class the whole time, right?"

Shi Sui: "..."