Hard to Love

Outside, the wind suddenly picked up, tree shadows swaying gracefully, brewing a spring rain.

Shi Sui wasn't tall enough, her neck craned back until it ached, humming as she kept dodging.

Yan Tingli got annoyed and lifted her with one hand.

Her cartoon slippers dropped to the floor with a "thud."

Mrs. Yan's room was right downstairs, and Shi Sui trembled in fright.

Her misty eyes panicked as she pushed against him.

Her jaw was gripped and forced straight, roughly, only allowed to face him: "Look, I'm kissing you."

Yan Tingli's hand directly went through her cardigan, his fingers especially cold, and she couldn't escape.

Shi Sui's eyes reddened from anger.

She wanted to curse him recklessly.

The curse reached her throat when Yan Tingli leaned close, his breath tickling past her earlobe: "Shh."

"Mom might hear."

Whimper.

Instantly defeated.

"Sui Sui chose to stay home herself, didn't she?"

"I didn't choose... mmph!"

Unfortunately, her body was more practiced than she was, and her words were insincere.

"...Gentle, be gentle."

"Don't pinch."

Shi Sui was held on the small sofa in the bedroom.

The wind grew stronger, the window not properly closed, howling as it rushed in.

Yan Tingli stared at her, his expression excessively cold, but his hands' actions weren't restrained at all.

In the second before Shi Sui was about to cry out, he withdrew his hand to cover her impending scream.

"Quietly."

"Mom is coming upstairs."

Shi Sui's face changed color in fright.

Yan Tingli lowered his eyes. The bedroom lights weren't on, his brow ridge against the light.

Calmly wiping his fingers on her face.

He did such vile things, yet Shi Sui didn't dare make a sound.

Listening intently for a while, except for the clock ticking, no footsteps were coming upstairs.

"Ah, I heard wrong." Yan Tingli said.

Shi Sui angrily lunged forward to bite him.

Yan Tingli took the opportunity to grip her chin and kiss her.

"So much, can't even wipe it clean." He said, consuming what was on her face, "So sweet."

Pervert!

Shi Sui cried out in humiliation: "I was wrong, really wrong."

"Why are you crying?" Yan Tingli frowned slightly.

As if worried about her, though his eyes were still cold.

Yan Tingli had fair skin and high facial symmetry, giving him a refined and handsome appearance.

Truly deceptive.

Shi Sui sobbed as she wrapped her arms around his neck: "Brother Tingli, I was wrong."

"I shouldn't have gone sketching without telling you, shouldn't have refused to go back with you, shouldn't have not opened the door."

Yan Tingli glanced at her, unmoved: "Wrong about what? We're not even familiar."

Shi Sui didn't understand.

Didn't understand why, even after softening and admitting fault, he still wasn't appeased.

She shrank forward, trying to please him by kissing the corner of his lips.

But Yan Tingli seemed disinterested, not even bothering to respond.

The atmosphere was unusual.

But Shi Sui had already admitted what she should. She still didn't know what he was angry about.

When she showed signs of retreat, Yan Tingli's eyes finally fluctuated. His large palm pressed against the back of her head, biting from her earlobe to her cheek.

Like a pervert, he always liked biting her. When Shi Sui felt pain, she would let out muffled whimpers.

His leg also wedged in, his knee pressing and grinding against her.

He only looked slender, but elite education had him exercising and training consistently for ten years. His leg muscles were hard, making her ache.

Afraid of making noise, Shi Sui bit down hard on her fingers.

Always like this-getting angry at the slightest disagreement, doing such terrible things!

What was more hateful was that her body had already gotten used to this chaos.

"Shi Sui." Yan Tingli suddenly called her full name when they were both in such a messy state.

His voice, when first heard, would make people think of spring's thin rain, so light that even falling on skin seemed like a fleeting illusion.

Just like when this person first stood before her.

Black turtleneck sweater, slender neck, standing high on the stairs, looking down at her as if she were nothing.

After Uncle Yan introduced her name, Yan Tingli blandly repeated: "Shi Sui?"

Yan Zecheng: "Do you know each other?"

"Don't know each other."

Easily making Shi Sui's mistaken heartbeat return to normal.

He didn't know her, but she knew him-the school's famous good student, liked by countless girls.

She never imagined that when darkness fell, even good students would devour people.

Shi Sui's eyes were covered by Yan Tingli as she was filled from behind.

She held back muffled groans, not daring to make a sound, when suddenly she heard Yan Tingli say: "Want to go back to Hangzhou?"

Shi Sui stiffened.

In a flash, she recalled telling her mother tonight about going back after graduation-he had heard it.

She didn't respond for a long time, so Yan Tingli turned her face forcibly.

"Is that so?"

"...No."

She was very bad at lying, her eyes darting around.

Yan Tingli looked at her without emotion, his eyes a cold black.

"Stay here. Don't even think about going anywhere."

He would occasionally say such authoritarian things, but it didn't prevent her inner rebellion.

What she wanted to do wasn't for him to decide!

A whole night of absurdity.

When she woke again, dawn was just breaking. Shi Sui opened her eyes, her whole body soft and powerless, swept by a deep fatigue.

Yan Tingli was no longer beside her. He had changed the sheets and her pajamas.

As for where the original sheets went, she didn't know and didn't want to care-he could always handle it properly.

Shi Sui wrapped herself in the blanket and sank back into the pillow.

Closing her eyes.

Though still in a tired state, she couldn't fall asleep again.

Failed.

As early as half a month ago, or even earlier, she had vaguely wanted to end this relationship. But she only dared to think about it-she was remarkably cowardly.

Obviously, during the half month she was sketching, Yan Tingli hadn't contacted her once.

Shi Sui even thought their absurd entanglement could come to an end, that Yan Tingli might be tired of it. They began with momentary indulgence; perhaps they would end silently.

But she still underestimated Yan Tingli's degree of absurdity.

Last night should have been his most outrageous time yet. Right in the Yan house, with Song Jie still downstairs, barging right in.

At seven-thirty, Shi Sui finished washing up.

A high-necked sweater concealed the mottled marks on her neck.

Looking in the mirror for a while, she still applied foundation and lipstick to improve her complexion.

The door was knocked.

"Who is it?"

"Beep."

The fingerprint unlocked, but no one entered.

The visitor's identity was obvious.

Hateful.

Shi Sui went to open the door.

Yan Tingli: "Come downstairs for breakfast."

Shi Sui said with a tense face: "How did you unlock the door?"

"Do you need me to tell the truth?" Yan Tingli asked blandly.

"What?"

"In high school, I practiced with my family's smart home system."

Shi Sui was speechless.

Following behind Yan Tingli, they went downstairs one after the other.

At this time, Song Jie was still doing yoga. Only the two of them were at the dining table.

Shi Sui had no appetite at all.

She randomly drank a few sips of porridge, then sat silently, waiting for Yan Tingli to finish eating before leaving together in the car.

Yan Tingli glanced at her.

Until they got in the car, the two had no communication.

Old Chen drove in front.

The car drove smoothly, with warm air conditioning on. Shi Sui felt drowsy.

A palm suddenly crossed her waist, massaging her lower back.

Before the art exam in high school, Shi Sui would often sit all day to paint, developing some chronic problems with her back.

Last night, he had aggravated it again.

Old Chen focused on driving and didn't notice what was happening behind him.

He massaged very comfortably.

The light, cool fragrance belonging to Yan Tingli floated subtly at her nose.

Shi Sui didn't expect that she would fall deeply asleep during such a journey beside Yan Tingli.

It was only twenty minutes.

Opening her eyes, she met Yan Tingli's gaze directly.

He was staring at her, not having time to look away. After a moment's pause, he turned his face away.

Shi Sui suddenly remembered a very small incident.

It was when she had just moved into the Yan house.

For a sensitive teenage girl, staying as a guest seemed like another level of depending on others' charity, especially after witnessing the Yan family's social stratum.

Shi Sui was careful with every word and action, afraid of making mistakes.

Yan Zecheng similarly arranged for Old Chen to drive them to school.

At that time, due to academic pressure, Shi Sui's menstrual cycle was irregular.

With the temperature drop, she caught a cold with nasal congestion, wasn't feeling well, and dozed off as soon as she got in the car after school.

When she woke, the strange sensation below reminded her of what had happened.

Her hand secretly explored-wet everywhere.

The car had already entered the Yan estate, Uncle Chen was parking.

Yan Tingli sat beside her, shoulders and neck straight. Receiving her hesitant gaze, he removed his earphones.

They weren't familiar at all then.

Shi Sui's face was snow-white.

Her lips trembled, unable to speak for a long time.

She didn't know what to do.

She had only seen this car in magazines-a brand her family couldn't afford.

She had dirtied the car, and it had white leather seats, too.

Yan Tingli's gaze passed over her fingers gripping her school uniform pants.

He lowered his eyes and picked up his teacup for a sip.

When closing the lid, his fingers didn't hold steady, knocking over the cup, water spilling on the seat.

"Uncle Chen, I spilled my tea."

Old Chen waved his hand: "No problem, I'll send it for cleaning tonight."

Yan Tingli opened the door and got out. Only then did Shi Sui quickly stand up, red-faced as she used wet wipes to clean the red marks from the seat.

She was grateful for the large tea stain as cover-that bit of blood was inconspicuous, mostly hidden after one wipe.

This was such a small, almost insignificant episode that Yan Tingli never mentioned it afterward. As if the tea that day was accidentally spilled by him on the seat, as if he had accidentally dirtied the car.

Coming back to the memory, Shi Sui had already returned to the dormitory.

Her phone buzzed. Shi Sui glanced at it.

Yan Tingli reminded her to come to the apartment the night after tomorrow.

The night after tomorrow was Friday.

Every week on this day, she would tell others she was going home, but spent the entire weekend fooling around with this "good student."

He was only a little bit good, but bad in so many ways.

Her phone buzzed again.

A message from her mother-they had just landed in Hangzhou. It was followed by reminders for her to be well-behaved at the Yan house.

After a long time, Shi Sui finally replied: [Got it.]

At the Yan house, she had always been well-behaved.

It was precisely because she was too well-behaved that she was always bullied by Yan Tingli like this.

This rain lasted two days, finally clearing up on Friday.

Spring had already begun last month. After several rains, the temperature warmed up.

Before afternoon class, Shi Sui changed out of her turtleneck sweater.

Xue Jing, passing behind her, stopped and touched the back of her neck: "Hey, is this a bug bite? It's all purple."

Shi Sui stiffened for a moment, remembering that last time Yan Tingli had taken her from behind. She didn't know how many marks were still on her back. She lowered her head and quickly put on her jacket.

Xue Jing clicked her tongue: "That bug is quite venomous."

"Very venomous, extremely venomous." Shi Sui agreed.

"Let's go, let's go, class is starting soon, we're running out of time." Lin Anran, who had been waiting nearby, urged.

It was peak class time, the academic building was packed, and the three were stuck on the stairs.

During the gap, Lin Anran still scrolled her phone, suddenly elbowing Xue Jing: "Case solved!"

"What?"

"I saw in the group chat that they're guessing Yan Tingli might have chosen 'Western Art History' for our department flower, Su Han."

"Tell me, tell me?"

"See for yourself in the group."

They had a good relationship with the neighboring dorm and formed a group chat, which was convenient for teaming up on assignments.

Only now had this group become a gossip relay station.

"They're sitting together." Xue Jing enlarged the photo in the group. "But if you're saying Su Han is the department flower, our sweet sister leader Sui Sui would be the first to disagree."

Xue Jing and Su Han were both class officers who didn't get along, often bad-mouthing each other in the dorm.

Xue Jing put her hand on Shi Sui's shoulder, rubbing her snow-white cheek: "Look at this little face, these big eyes, this lovely appearance-doesn't it deserve the title of department flower?"

There were still people around, some heard and curiously looked over.

Shi Sui felt embarrassed and pulled down Xue Jing's hand.

Lin Anran made a sound: "Su Han always participates in activities, our Sui Sui is too low-key."

"Hmph."

"What are you hmph-ing about?"

Xue Jing pouted: "Why should Su Han get to hook up with the male god? That's Yan Tingli! Anyone can see he's top quality-refined under the sheets, fierce in bed..."

Shi Sui couldn't listen anymore, covering her mouth with one hand and dragging her through the crowd at a trot.

Lin Anran followed, asking with interest: "How can you tell he's fierce in bed?"

"Look at his hands, look at his nose. Such long fingers, and his nose is straight and big..." Xue Jing glanced at Shi Sui from the corner of her eye, deliberately teasing her, "Sui Sui, why are you blushing? Even modeling nude didn't make you this-"

Shi Sui: "Hurry up, we're running out of time!"

As they spoke, the three arrived at the classroom's back door.

Looking from high to low, they immediately spotted the most conspicuous couple sitting in the middle.

The young man lowered his eyes, shoulders, and neck straight, his exposed skin a frost-snow cold white.

"Handsome." Xue Jing squinted, looking at the curly-haired girl beside Yan Tingli, who was propping her chin and gazing at him, saying sourly, "Su Han is eating well."

She pulled Shi Sui forward. Shi Sui frowned: "Where are you going?"

"Sit closer, gather intelligence."

No, no, no! Shi Sui wanted to run, but she wasn't stronger than Xue Jing. After struggling for a while, she looked up and met Yan Tingli's gaze as he turned toward the sound.

A very light glance.

It immediately slid past.

Shi Sui didn't dare dodge anymore, letting Xue Jing drag her straight to the seat next to Yan Tingli.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" Xue Jing smiled sweetly, ignoring Su Han's eye roll.

Getting Yan Tingli's response: "No."

"Sui Sui, you sit." Xue Jing pushed Shi Sui inward.

Shi Sui: "..."

She sighed almost inaudibly.

Fine.

After sitting down, Xue Jing and Lin Anran also squeezed over.

Five seats in a row, perfectly filled.

Their phones kept vibrating as Xue Jing and Lin Anran frantically messaged in the group.

Lin Anran: [Ahhh, up close he's so handsome!]

Xue Jing: [Really want to ask how he maintains his skin, it's so white and smooth qwq]

Shi Sui took out her book from her bag. Conversation between a man and woman came from beside her.

"Sorry to trouble you. It's my fault for not having time to find my dad, making you make the trip."

"Don't mention it."

Su Han continued: "I don't know how to thank you. Let me treat you to dinner after class."

Shi Sui placed her book on the desk. She forgot to control her strength-"bang"-the sound was somewhat abrupt.

Su Han was still asking from the side: "Do you have time for dinner together after class?"

Yan Tingli withdrew his peripheral vision.

"Unfortunately, I have an appointment."