Hard to Love

Shi Sui didn't know where his anger came from.

She had already actively avoided helping Zhou Xuyan ask, yet he was the one who gave out his WeChat number.

Now, after adding her, he was unhappy, and when unhappy, he came to bully her!

Even a rabbit will bite when cornered. Shi Sui angrily bit down on Yan Tingli's neck.

Yan Tingli's dark lashes lowered as he calmly watched her actions.

Shi Sui's originally vicious bite, upon meeting his gaze, slowly retracted her teeth.

Whimper.

Shi Sui resigned herself-cowardice was in her nature.

Instead, Shi Sui used her nails to scratch the expensive leather sofa beneath her. Scratch it, scratch it all up! Make him go bankrupt!

Yan Tingli seemed pleased by this pathetic display, his chest trembling twice.

He moved straight closer.

Taking her cheek into his mouth, sniffing every inch of her skin's scent.

His other hand pinched her soft nape, even his breathing chaotic. Shi Sui's spine sensitively bristled with goosebumps-the natural reaction of prey facing a predator.

She felt like she was about to be devoured.

In a physical sense.

Yan Tingli's lips meandered down from her cheek.

Shi Sui had a small frame and soft flesh. Every pinch and squeeze left little dimples, a water-like texture.

Just as she resignedly closed her eyes, waiting for a storm, she suddenly heard Yan Tingli say: "Say you love me."

Because it was so unexpected, Shi Sui's expression went blank for a second.

"Say," he gripped her jaw with his thumb and forefinger, repeating, "say you love me."

With some threatening undertone.

Given that Yan Tingli always had random whims, forcing her to say all sorts of nonsense, Shi Sui was about to comply. She opened her lips but couldn't say it.

Love and sex were different things.

"...Why do I have to say this?"

"Do you love me or not?"

"I don't... mmph-!" She was suddenly pinched hard.

"I love you," Shi Sui never did anything foolishly stubborn, saying with a trembling voice, "I love you." Anyway, these words would just pass-why make herself suffer unnecessarily?

Yan Tingli's pupils fixed, then he suddenly smiled. When someone usually cold smiled, it was like snow and ice melting.

"Then delete her." His voice was still cool, but his movements gentled.

"Me?!" Shi Sui couldn't believe it. After all this circling, he just wanted her to delete the WeChat contact?!

"Mm, you."

Shi Sui was baffled: "Is there a difference between me deleting and you deleting?"

"I want you to delete."

"No, you delete it yourself." Shi Sui instinctively resisted.

Yan Tingli looked at her for several seconds, gave a cold laugh, then suddenly pressed the voice message button: "Sorry, Shi Sui wants me to delete you-"

Shi Sui startled, first covering his mouth, then realizing she should grab the phone.

"Don't talk nonsense," unable to grab it, she said urgently, "I'll delete, I'll delete, okay?"

Yan Tingli threw the phone to her.

Shi Sui didn't even know if he had sent it. While she was panicking, in the blink of an eye she was flipped and pressed beneath him.

Instantly, the sofa was soaked with her gasping breaths.

After Shi Sui finished bathing, holding Yan Tingli's phone, she thought for a long time before coming up with the most dignified reply possible: [Sorry, I want to focus on my studies in college and have no plans to date for now. Sorry for wasting your time, you can delete me.]

This was responding to Zhou Xuyan's previous question, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

[OK, let's delete each other.]

Zhou Xuyan also replied straightforwardly.

At the same moment, messages popped up in the group.

Zhou Xuyan: [No chance, hands up/hands up/]

She posted a screenshot of their recent chat.

Xue Jing: [My intuition told me Yan Tingli would be hard to pursue, as expected...]

Lin Anran: [Actually, this is quite respectable, speaking clearly without leading anyone on.]

Zhou Xuyan: [True, still has class]

Xue Jing: [So what kind of woman could conquer him?]

Zhou Xuyan: [I haven't deleted yet, want me to ask for you?]

Xue Jing instantly chickened out: [Never mind...]

The group kept buzzing with messages, gradually shifting to other topics. Shi Sui closed her phone, feeling somewhat uncomfortable.

Though she hadn't deliberately hidden anything, she was still being dishonest with people.

Yan Tingli came out of the kitchen, placing two bowls of noodles on the dining table.

Looking at the time, it was already past eight. Shi Sui walked over to eat.

Clear broth noodles with fried eggs. Shi Sui lowered her lashes, quietly slurping noodles.

There was no housekeeper here, and she had never seen anyone else in this house.

The food Yan Tingli made could only be described as barely edible.

But Shi Sui wasn't picky and found everything delicious. Now extremely hungry, she ate with both cheeks puffed out.

When she looked up, Yan Tingli had already finished and was watching her.

He had showered, his hair not completely dry, hanging over his forehead. His skin was very white, his features light and clear.

Sensing his good mood, Shi Sui quickened her pace and swallowed the last mouthful of soup: "I just used your WeChat to explain things clearly to Weiwei."

"Mm."

Shi Sui was quiet for a moment, then still spoke up: "Actually, if you didn't want to add her, you could have just refused then."

The air was quiet. Yan Tingli showed no reaction.

Shi Sui continued: "Don't do this anymore in the future."

Yan Tingli: "Don't do what, add girls on WeChat?"

Shi Sui felt stung. "You know that's not what I mean."

"Then what?"

His posture was relaxed and casual. Shi Sui couldn't help saying: "I just don't want you to involve me. Weiwei is my friend-doing this behind her back feels strange."

Yan Tingli said nothing, his lips turning down with a few degrees of self-mocking coldness.

Shi Sui didn't dare look at him either, continuing on her own: "Just because you chose this class, my roommates mention you every day. I'm caught in the middle. I don't want to lie to them at all."

"And every time you leave very heavy marks, they've seen them on my back many times."

"Also, I have to come here every weekend. I tell people I'm going home, but it's getting too frequent..."

"Finished?" Yan Tingli said.

Shi Sui nodded silently, secretly glancing at him while her heart pounded.

"Let me summarize," he said. "I should stay away from you, preferably disappear from your life, just like the first half of the month."

He leaned toward her, asking in a clear, gentle tone: "Is that what you want?"

Shi Sui felt a bit breathless, mumbling: "That's not what I meant either..." Her words didn't match her heart.

Her cheek was lifted. Yan Tingli asked: "Then what do you mean?"

Shi Sui's mouth felt dry: "I just hope we can maintain an appropriate distance in public."

"That won't work." Yan Tingli smiled slightly, saying lightly, "How can I control you if we keep a distance?"

"Whether you've added any males, how many messages you've exchanged, whether you've had physical contact with them-I need to know everything."

His expression was utterly peaceful, but Shi Sui suddenly felt a chill down her back.

Her rebuttal seemed pale and powerless: "But if you keep appearing around me, I'm afraid we'll be exposed. I'm not good at acting-what if someone finds out about our relationship?"

"Simple," Yan Tingli said. "You can make our relationship public."

Shi Sui: "But we agreed not to let others know-"

"Did we? When did I ever agree to that with you?"

Shi Sui was stunned, lightning flashing through her mind. Right, he had never said that.

What she thought was their "tacit understanding" was just her assumption.

Her expression changed: "Aren't you afraid of Uncle and Aunt Yan finding out?! They won't approve."

She couldn't bear to imagine how their parents, friends, Uncle, and Aunt Yan would react if their relationship was exposed.

Uncle Yan was their family's benefactor, yet she had been secretly sleeping with the benefactor's son for two years. And Aunt Yan, so noble and elegant-how would she view her? How would her parents face themselves?

Shi Sui didn't want her parents to be looked down upon because of her, not even a little.

"Then we'll have to elope." Yan Tingli's tone was slow.

"I don't want to!" Shi Sui lost some emotional control, her voice involuntarily rising.

Yan Tingli's lashes fluttered.

Shi Sui was so angry she misspoke, tears flowing uncontrollably. She angrily wiped them away with force.

She always made a big fuss when crying-being this quiet was rare.

In the silence, he spoke first.

"Come here."

Shi Sui didn't move.

"You don't want me to be unhappy either, right?"

Shi Sui still ignored him.

Yan Tingli paused: "Come here and I won't be angry anymore."

Shi Sui's eyes were red, but she was helpless.

After confronting each other for a long while, she finally slowly moved her steps, walking toward Yan Tingli.

Once again, compromising, sitting on his thighs, fitting into his embrace.

Yan Tingli had just showered and smelled of fresh mint, his body temperature neither cold nor hot.

Yan Tingli brushed her long hair to one side, his kiss falling by her ear as he said softly: "Just scaring you."

It was a threat, taking advantage of having completely grasped her weak points. Not changing a single one of his suggestions, but threatening her in return.

She still had to give in for things to settle temporarily, so they could maintain the status quo.

"You're too much." Shi Sui's voice carried sobs.

"You're more excessive." Yan Tingli said.

Shi Sui raised her voice: "You're the excessive one!"

Yan Tingli: "It's you."

"It's you!"

"It's not me, it's you."

"It's me, not-"

Shi Sui suddenly stopped, instinctively tensing her face the moment she realized she wanted to laugh.

Very angry, but Shi Sui hated that she almost laughed at this moment.

Yan Tingli: "Mm, you're more excessive."

Completely upside down!

Shi Sui once again recognized that Yan Tingli was essentially an unprincipled evil youth. The instigator, he wouldn't suffer even verbally.

The first time they fought, he was the one who coaxed her first.

After the graduation ceremony, following the college entrance exam.

Yan Tingli was called back to school to give a speech, and that day, Shi Sui received a bouquet from a junior classmate.

Midway through, Yan Tingli suddenly told her to find him backstage.

At that time, Yan Tingli was still the brilliant honor student in her eyes. Whatever the honor student said was right, even following his words to sneak backstage during the ceremony.

While school leaders were still speaking, she was pressed down in an empty lounge.

The air conditioning was broken, and only a fan was running, stuffy and tight. Yan Tingli held her on his lap and began kissing. Shi Sui, who had never seen the world, was terrified.

The junior who had followed her backstage came to knock on the door. Yan Tingli's hand went under her clothes, stroking her lower back. This horror reached its peak.

The junior knocked and called "Senior" twice, seemingly wanting to say something.

Yan Tingli kissed her while his fingers traced her spine. Shi Sui trembled all over. Men were just naturally gifted in this area-in just a couple of times, he had figured out all her sensitive spots.

She even thought Yan Tingli had been drugged, never suspecting this person was inherently sick.

"What's wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell?" She lowered her voice.

Yan Tingli nuzzled her neck from behind, biting her lower lip.

The door handle was turned by the junior, seeming about to burst in the next second.

Shi Sui struggled violently but couldn't break free, her mind completely blank.

A few seconds later, footsteps faded-he left. The door had been locked at some point she didn't know, and the handle hadn't turned.

"He's gone." Yan Tingli's tone held some regret.

She gasped heavily, still in shock: "What exactly are you trying to do?"

"Were the flowers pretty?"

Shi Sui was speechless: "He was just-"

Yan Tingli's hand had already impatiently moved to her buttons.

This action scared Shi Sui into jumping up. She was still trying to find evidence that Yan Tingli had been drugged, touching his forehead and cheeks: "Are you okay?"

"Laughing so happily," Yan Tingli answered irrelevantly, "must have been pretty."

He then bit open the first button of her collar.

"Stop," Shi Sui looked at him incredulously, "are you crazy!"

The second button was also bitten open.

"If you, if you dare do anything here, I'll ignore you, never speak to you again!"

"How will you ignore me?"

"I'll change my application, I'll go back to Hangzhou. Mom and Dad said they're waiting for me in Hangzhou."

He paused.

Just when she thought the threat had worked, her collarbone was bitten hard: "Do whatever you want."

"I'm telling the truth. If you dare, I'll go back and pack immediately. I don't have to live at your house anymore anyway!" She spoke without thinking.

Yan Tingli looked at her deeply, finally releasing her and standing to straighten his collar.

Shi Sui thought her words had worked, but he glanced at his watch-it was time for his speech.

So to this day, she couldn't be sure how far Yan Tingli would have gone if it hadn't been time.

Shi Sui interpreted this as parting on bad terms.

That night, she packed some luggage-she would return to Hangzhou and leave after completing her application.

The Yan family hadn't treated her badly, but who likes depending on others' charity?

There was also Yan Tingli.

It was because he said University A had more opportunities, even planning her future professional development completely, that Shi Sui had hesitated.

But now with no relatives here and Yan Tingli being a bastard, she might as well return to her parents.

The next morning, Shi Sui was gradually mailing packages when she ran into Yan Tingli coming downstairs.

He leaned against the refrigerator and drank some ice water, his thin eyelids lowered, quietly watching her.

Shi Sui's back broke out in sweat, feeling guilty for no reason-it was fine, she was just mailing packages.

But she kept her eyes straight ahead on the surface, quickly returning to her room.

They were fighting now-they might be strangers soon, so she didn't need to care what he thought, Shi Sui encouraged herself.

But that evening, she suddenly heard Yan Tingli playing piano in the music room.

In the half year Shi Sui had been here, Yan Tingli rarely played piano-this was the second time.

She was amazed that Yan Tingli could play popular songs-she had once played this song in her room, that time she was painting with music on and forgot to close the door.

In the music room, he only had a floor lamp on, his profile half bright, half dark.

Distinct knuckles on black and white keys, veins spreading.

"Close the door." Yan Tingli said.

Shi Sui unconsciously obeyed.

As soon as she approached, he pulled her hand, and Shi Sui forgot to refuse.

"Like listening?"

"Mm."

"I'll teach you."

Yan Tingli embraced her from behind, his cool palms guiding hers.

Shi Sui was dazed.

"Remember the lyrics?"

"I remember."

"You can sing."

Shi Sui felt awkward: "My singing is terrible."

"It won't be."

Shi Sui: "I'm serious."

"Only I can hear it anyway."

Shi Sui: "Can you sing?"

"I don't remember the lyrics clearly."

"But you can already play it?"

Yan Tingli said nothing, correcting a wrong note she pressed. Shi Sui suddenly remembered something.

She had heard her father say that Yan Tingli played piano exceptionally well-if his academic grades weren't so outstanding, he could have become a professional pianist.

There was a term for it-absolute pitch. He could learn anything after hearing it a few times.

After Shi Sui's first note, she honestly closed her mouth.

For no other reason than severe off-key singing, she saw Yan Tingli's knuckles pause.

Shi Sui stubbornly pulled up the lyrics: "I won't sing anymore, you do it."

Yan Tingli seemed to chuckle, guiding her hands across the keys, starting from the beginning.

After the prelude, his voice began.

Shi Sui had always felt that Yan Tingli's distant, cold temperament came largely from his voice.

Like thin snow, fine ice.

Until he sang, the usually cool spring water gurgling past her ears, Shi Sui's heart suddenly accelerated.

"Who knows better than me?"

"Your tenderness like feathers"

"Secrets lying in my embrace"

"Only you can hear it."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Your smile is like an embrace."

"How I want to hide your goodness."

"Only I can see it."

...

Then they inexplicably began kissing.

Until his kiss fell where he couldn't reach in the lounge that day, Shi Sui suddenly realized: "No, we're still fighting-"

"Finish first, then fight."

"This is the piano..."

"Perfect height."

At that time she didn't know this was a 3.8 million Steinway, even disliking how cold it was, completely uncomfortable.

There were still servants downstairs, the summer was stifling, heat that even air conditioning couldn't block.

Shi Sui didn't dare make too much noise.

Her eyes were misty with tears: "You're too much."

Yan Tingli bit her nape hard.

Unable to see his expression clearly, his voice somewhat muffled: "You're more excessive."

The past was too painful to recall, yet strangely overlapped with the present.

Shi Sui couldn't remember many details and didn't want to-it was nothing more than Yan Tingli realizing he couldn't completely control her then, using some tactics to make her lose her mind and change her first choice back to University A in a love-struck daze.

And always insisting she was "more excessive."

How exactly was she excessive?

No one in the world was more unreasonable than him.