Hard to Love

...

Rain streamed down the windows like two winding tear tracks.

It had rained today, making the sky particularly dark. Shi Sui looked outside the window as Zhou Xuyan's voice drifted elegantly by her ear: "At first, Uncle Yan and Aunt Song had an arranged marriage between families with no feelings."

The second year after Yan Zecheng and Song Jie's marriage was also the first year when the Yan and Song families joined forces to create the subsidiary company Qisheng Technology. When the families arranged the marriage, Song Jie was forced to break up with her first love, her heart dead as ash, carrying resentment throughout her body.

This marriage began as a transaction. Having an heir would make it more stable. So at the end of the second year, Yan Tingli was born and raised from childhood as an elite heir.

Yan Zecheng and Song Jie were each busy with their careers, hardly returning home. Yan Zecheng led the technical team, Song Jie handled marketing. Their division of labor was clear, each achieving their accomplishments.

In the fifth year after marriage, Qisheng Technology's profits surpassed all the parent and subsidiary companies, topping both family groups. It was also in this year that Yan Zecheng and Song Jie developed feelings over time, understanding each other and reaching the peak of their relationship.

The incident happened when Yan Congjin was five years old.

Ten-year-old Yan Tingli brought home a stray cat, personally bathing and feeding it.

Yan Congjin followed behind his brother, carefully asking if he could pet the kitten.

Children raised in love tend to be loved by everyone, and no one would deliberately refuse them.

"It sounds quite melodramatic, but that's exactly how it happened." Zhou Xuyan sighed.

That weekend, Yan Congjin happened to have ice hockey class. Usually the driver and nanny would pick him up, but that day Yan Zecheng returned from a business trip and particularly missed his younger son, so he called to say he would personally pick him up.

Everything was perfectly normal.

But the accident still happened. Yan Zecheng was a few minutes late, and it was just those few minutes when Yan Congjin crossed the street and got into a car accident.

"How could this happen?" Shi Sui raised her voice, somewhat incoherent, "But what does this have to do with Yan Tingli?"

She didn't know how to dissolve this enormous grief and could only point the blade at everyone. Whether it was Yan Zecheng or Yan Tingli, in her eyes, they were all murderers who caused her younger son's death.

From then on, the surface harmony of the family was completely torn apart, and Yan Congjin became an unspeakable taboo.

Song Jie and Yan Zecheng played the role of a respectable couple in public while each had new lovers privately, rotting from within.

And Yan Tingli continued as a programmed robot, running along his predetermined track.

...

After a long silence, Shi Sui asked: "What about you? Why are you so at odds with him?"

"Because I secretly picked up that cat Aunt Song threw away." Zhou Xuyan said with an innocent expression, "Before, he wouldn't even let me touch it once."

Shi Sui paused, her eyes widening: "You're not talking about Little Round, are you?!"

"Yes, yes."

Little Round was a long-haired calico cat that Shi Sui had seen many times when visiting Zhou Xuyan's house. Little Round was well cared for by Zhou Xuyan. The old lady cat was over ten years old now, but could still eat, sleep, and run around energetically.

Shi Sui didn't understand the logic: "Just because of this?"

"Oh right, have I mentioned that you also have very big eyes, just like Little Round, so I liked you from the first time I saw you." Zhou Xuyan said jokingly.

Shi Sui was about to speak when suddenly her phone rang, showing an incoming call notification.

She pressed answer.

"Where are you?" There seemed to be rustling rain sounds on the other end, the voice not very clear.

"I'm still at the mall, want to hang out with Yanyan a bit more." She instinctively held her breath, "Is that okay?"

The other end suddenly said, "Talk to me."

Shi Sui was confused: "Huh? Say what?"

"Anything."

"Just say anything."

Shi Sui was baffled: "Is there something that must be said over the phone?"

"Mm."

Shi Sui's expression was strange. Zhou Xuyan, who had specifically perked up her ears to catch most of the conversation, leaned in and clicked her tongue, whispering: "He's like he's about to die any second and needs you to续命 him."

Shi Sui glanced at her but had no idea what to say, so she could only ramble like keeping a diary, saying whatever came to mind:

"Tonight we ate Thai food, sour and salty, I'm not used to it. The passion fruit juice we drank this afternoon was a price trap, a tiny cup cost sixty-eight yuan, not as good as the eight-yuan chain store cups at the school gate."

"Mm."

"We also tried new spring clothes and bought a sweater."

"Browsed the accessory store and bought a hat."

After Shi Sui said a few sentences, she felt it was dry.

"Very boring."

"Indeed." He gave an affirmative response.

Shi Sui pouted: "Then I won't talk anymore."

"Continue."

The rain sound was getting louder on the other end.

She could only search for something to say: "Where are you? The rain sounds so loud."

"In the rain."

She was shocked: "No umbrella?"

"Forgot."

Yan Tingli only realized he hadn't taken an umbrella when he walked out the door, so he simply didn't bother.

"Don't you know how to take shelter when it's raining? Are you an idiot?"

His tone was flat: "Didn't you always say I have problems?"

Shi Sui was simply irritated: "Then drench yourself in your rain, don't tell me about it."

Yan Tingli said casually, "If I don't tell you, how can I make you feel sorry for me?"

"You asked for it; only a dog would feel sorry."

Although Shi Sui was angry, she still couldn't ignore it. She sighed: "Where are you? I'll come pick you up."

He suddenly laughed for a long time. Shi Sui was confused and heard him say: "Bark once for me to hear."

...So cheap.

Shi Sui took a deep breath: "Stop talking nonsense. Where exactly are you?"

After he finished laughing, "Phone's dead, hanging up."

That night was Sunday, and she had early classes the next day. As usual, Shi Sui would return to school.

She called Yan Tingli several more times. Zhou Xuyan couldn't stand watching and grabbed her hand: "Aiya, let's go, let's go. He's a grown man. What could happen? Quick, I'll drive you back."

Shi Sui looked at her phone and softly hummed in agreement.

The red Porsche was parked quite stylishly at the entrance of A University. Before Shi Sui got out, Zhou Xuyan gave her repeated warnings: "You absolutely must not reveal that I told you these things!"

"Mm, mm, I know." Shi Sui nodded very loyally.

Just as she was about to leave, Zhou Xuyan couldn't help reaching out her arms: "Give me a hug."

Shi Sui smiled warmly and hugged her back, immediately being pressed into her embrace and having her face rubbed.

Shi Sui was the sweetest, softest little cake she had ever seen, Zhou Xuyan thought to herself.

"See you next time."

The two reluctantly said goodbye.

On the way back, Shi Sui was still digesting what Zhou Xuyan had told her that afternoon.

During the two years staying at the Yan house, it wasn't that she hadn't felt various discordances.

But she was an outsider, and always had to, and must, behave properly.

Shi Sui recalled some past events again.

When she first arrived and dirtied the car, although Yan Tingli smoothly handled it without showing emotion, for a teenage girl it was still an earth-shattering embarrassment. In the days that followed, she couldn't help being even more careful.

When she got to know Yan Tingli, he was already a campus celebrity.

Girls often talked about him, admired him, said how wonderful he was, but few dared to confess to him because he was simply too unreachable.

Occasionally, when Yan Zecheng and the others returned, they would ask about Yan Tingli's studies and competitions at the dinner table.

There were always various competitions and professional terms she couldn't understand, so she could only show a polite smile.

Not only that, the incident that left the deepest impression on Shi Sui was when Song Jie mentioned a former child star who debuted young, a rumored little princess of Beijing's elite circles.

Such a female celebrity that Shi Sui thought was high and mighty was dismissed by Song Jie with just a cold sneer: "A daughter raised by a third-rate family, doesn't know her place."

What Song Jie was referring to was how this starlet had used paparazzi to stage photos with her and Yan Tingli.

In the end, the photos were blocked by Song Jie's order, and after that, the starlet's popularity declined significantly.

Shi Sui watched various films and TV shows, and it seemed that rich people didn't like being taken advantage of.

So Shi Sui tried to minimize her presence in the vast Yan residence.

At school, it went without saying – usually half a street away, Shi Sui would find an excuse to have the driver stop the car and walk over to her.

Shi Sui couldn't remember many professional terms and competition names.

But she could remember that deafening phrase, "doesn't know her place."

Yet now she was doing bad things that appeared well-behaved and sensible on the surface, but were secretly underhanded.

The rain on the road grew denser, blowing past the umbrella's edge onto Shi Sui's cheek.

She stood in place for a long time, then finally lowered her head to delete the words she had typed in Yan Tingli's chat box.

Looking down, she turned off her phone and continued walking forward.