Innocent cravings

Chapter 22 – Tangled Hearts

Alice's POV

The words wouldn't leave me.

They clung to me like a shadow as I walked through the halls the next morning, heavy and suffocating.

"Brian invited me to dinner. My fiancé."

Clarissa's smirk replayed in my mind over and over again, like a taunt carved into my chest. I'd told myself not to take her seriously, not to let her venom seep into me. But no matter how much I tried, doubt crept in, threading itself around my thoughts until every memory of Brian twisted into something uncertain.

The kiss.

It should have been enough. The warmth of his lips, the steadiness of his hands, the way he looked at me like I was the only person in the world. That moment should have been all the proof I needed. But Clarissa's voice was louder now, drowning it out.

It was just infatuation. He's back to his senses.

I pressed my books tighter against my chest, trying to breathe as students rushed past me. The school buzzed with noise, but all I felt was the hollow ache of confusion.

Sophie's arm looped around mine suddenly, jolting me from my thoughts. "Okay, you've been walking like a zombie since first period. Spill it."

"I'm fine," I muttered, forcing a small smile that even I didn't believe.

Sophie gave me a look that said she wasn't buying it for a second. "You're not fine. You've got that 'I'm carrying the world's drama on my back but I'll pretend I'm okay' face. Which, by the way, is not cute."

I laughed weakly, the sound brittle. "You're ridiculous."

"True," she admitted. "But I'm also right. Come on, talk to me. Is it about him?"

The way she said him made my chest tighten. I didn't answer. I couldn't.

Sophie sighed, tugging me toward an empty corner near the vending machines. "Alice, if you don't start talking, I'll assume you're secretly planning to drop out and join a circus. Just tell me what's going on."

Her attempt at humor cracked something in me. I sank onto the bench, lowering my gaze to the floor. My fingers twisted at the hem of my sleeve.

"Clarissa," I whispered finally.

Sophie groaned. "Of course it's Clarissa. What did she do this time? Swear she invented oxygen?"

Despite myself, a small laugh slipped out, but it faded quickly. "She... she told me that Brian invited her to dinner. That he's her fiancé. That... whatever I thought was happening between us was just..." My voice broke, and I swallowed hard. "Just infatuation."

Sophie's eyes widened, her jaw tightening. "That snake."

I bit my lip, shame burning through me. "What if she's right, Sophie? What if I was just... temporary?"

She knelt in front of me, grabbing my hands. "Listen to me. Clarissa lies. It's what she does. She feeds on making people miserable. And Brian? He doesn't look at you like you're temporary. He looks at you like you're," She stopped, her eyes softening. "Like you're everything."

Her words should have comforted me, but the knot in my chest only grew tighter. "Then why would he invite her to dinner?"

Sophie hesitated, her brows furrowing. "Maybe there's another reason. Maybe he wants to end it. Did you think of that?"

My heart stuttered at the thought, hope flickering for a split second, before Clarissa's smug smile returned in my mind. "But she sounded so sure, Sophie. Like... like she'd already won."

"Clarissa always sounds sure. That doesn't make it true."

I wanted to believe her. I wanted to grab onto Sophie's certainty and let it drown out the doubt clawing at me. But fear had its claws in deep.

The rest of the day dragged on, every class blurring together. Whenever I caught a glimpse of Brian across campus, my body froze. Once, he even looked like he was heading toward me, his gaze locked on mine.

My pulse skyrocketed, and before I could stop myself, I ducked into the nearest hallway, pressing my back against the cold lockers. My chest heaved as I listened to his footsteps fade away.

Coward.

But I couldn't face him. Not when Clarissa's words still echoed in my head. Not when I was terrified of finding out she might be right.

By the time Sophie dropped me home that evening, my heart felt heavier than it had in days. She kept the radio on, singing obnoxiously loud to make me laugh, and I tried, God, I tried but the ache wouldn't leave.

When she parked in front of my house, she turned serious again. "Promise me something."

"What?" I murmured.

"Don't let Clarissa get into your head. Talk to him. Hear it from him, not her."

I forced a smile, but I couldn't make the promise. Not yet.

Inside my room, I curled up on my bed, staring at my silent phone. His name was there in my messages, waiting. All I had to do was reach out.

But my fingers hovered, trembling, before I pulled the blanket over my head instead.

Avoiding him felt safer. Even if it broke me a little more each day.

The next few days felt like walking through a fog.

Brian was everywhere, and yet I kept running from him. In the diner I pretended to be busy so we wouldn't be alone.

But the harder I tried to avoid him, the more aware I became of him. Every laugh, every time I stare into space thinking of him, every glance I caught from the corner of my eye, it was like my body had been trained to notice him, even when my mind screamed at me to stop.

Sophie, of course, noticed everything.

"You're avoiding him," she said bluntly on Thursday, plopping her tray down across from me at lunch.

I nearly choked on my water. "What? No, I'm not."

Her eyebrows shot up so high they nearly touched her hairline. "You just made a U-turn down an entire hallway to escape eye contact. That's not 'no.' That's the Olympic level of avoidance."

I stabbed my fork into my salad, refusing to look at her. "I just... I don't feel like talking to him right now."

"Uh-huh. And pigs fly," Sophie muttered, leaning forward. "Alice, you can't keep doing this. It's not healthy. If you have questions, if you have doubts, then you need answers. From him. Not Clarissa."

Her words hit hard because I knew she was right. But the fear inside me was louder. "What if Clarissa's telling the truth? What if he really wants to be with her? I don't think I can handle hearing it from him."

Sophie softened, her voice gentler. "And what if she's lying? What if this is all part of her game to keep you running? Then you're just letting her win."

My chest tightened. "I'm not strong like you, Sophie."

She reached across the table, squeezing my hand. "You're stronger than you think. You've been surviving so much for so long, Alice. Don't let her convince you otherwise."

Her words warmed me, but I couldn't shake the ache in my chest.

That night, after my shift at the diner, I collapsed onto my bed with exhaustion clinging to my bones. My phone lit up on the nightstand. For a moment, I thought it was Sophie texting me, but it wasn't.

It was Brian.

Can we talk?

Three words. Simple. Yet they sent my heart into a frenzy. My fingers hovered over the screen, trembling with the urge to reply. To say yes. To let him in.

But Clarissa's voice hissed in my head. Fiancé. Infatuation. Back to his senses.

Tears blurred my vision as I set the phone facedown, burying it under my pillow. I couldn't do it. Not tonight.

Instead, I curled up, clutching the small stuffed bear Sophie had won for me at the arcade. The soft fur soaked up my tears as the silence pressed in, heavy and suffocating.

I hated this. I hated the fear, the confusion, the way my heart longed for him even while my mind screamed at me to stay away.

For the first time in a long time, I wished I could just be like Sophie, loud, fearless, unshaken by the world. But I wasn't. I was me. And right now, being me felt unbearably small.

When I finally drifted into sleep, my dreams betrayed me.

Brian's eyes, his voice, his touch, they haunted me, sweet and cruel all at once.

And when 

I woke the next morning, the ache was still there.

Worse than ever.