The Alpha's Desperate Regret
Chapter 1
~ELARA’s POV~
I always thought the Moon Goddess was kind, but as my fated mate looked at me with pure disgust, I realized she was a sadist.
In the Eclipse pack, most wolves carry this scent of cedar, spice or something wild. Me? Nothing. I’m just a blank space. And everyone here is happy to fill that emptiness with their hate. They call me 'Scentless Mutt.' It’s the only name I’ve ever known, and they never miss a chance to shove it down my throat.
I was lugging a heavy tray of greasy bones from last night's feast, arms already burning, still waiting for my wolf to decide I was worth showing up for. Twenty-two years, and she was apparently still on vacation.
CLANG-A-LANG!
Jax didn’t just kick the tray. He stepped onto the edge of it, tilting it slowly until the bones slid into the dirt. He watched them fall with a look of mock pity.
"You're still trying, Elara," he sighed, leaning in close enough that I could smell the stale ale on his breath. "That’s the saddest part. You carry these trays around like if you work hard enough, a soul will finally grow inside that empty skin."
He reached out, almost gently, and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before his grip tightened, yanking my head back.
"But we both know the truth. You aren't a wolf waiting to happen. You're just a ghost that refuses to leave. Why don't you do us a favor and stop pretending you belong to the living?”
He let go of my hair with a sharp shove, watching me stumble into the mess.
I stayed frozen for a second. That hot prickly burn started behind my eyes, the one that meant tears were coming but I swallowed it down fast.
A shadow, colder than the one Jax had left behind, fell over me. I looked up to see Elder Mara, the Alpha's mother standing a few feet away. She didn’t just look at me like I was trash, she looked at me like I was a mistake she thought she’d fixed.
Her hand flew to that silver locket on her neck clutching it like a weapon, her eyes fixed on me with a hatred that felt personal, even though I was just a servant.
It chilled me more than Jax ever had.
She didn't say a word, instead she just turned and walked toward the castle, but her silence felt like a death sentence.
I gathered the bones with trembling, bloody hands.
Tonight was the full moon. The whole pack would gather at the communal grounds for the ceremony. Shifts. Mate bonds. Everyone celebrating their wolves and their futures.
Everyone except the ones like me who still hadn’t shifted. I'm twenty-two. Most wolves got their shift by sixteen or seventeen at the latest.
But here I was. Late. Broken. Call it whatever word you want. Maybe empty.
But as the first drumbeat sounded from the communal grounds, a small, stupid hope sparked in my chest.
Tonight the moon might finally wake up whatever was supposed to be in me, if there was anything at all.
I hauled the tray to the kitchen and scrubbed the blood from my palms. I didn't even have time to change my ruined dress before the second drumbeat shook the air.
I walked down the hill with the other low-ranks. Torches flashed light everywhere and the pack formed a wide circle around the big central fire.
High ranks in front, omegas like me pushed to the back as usual.
Then Alpha Kairos stepped into the circle and everything went quiet.
Tall, black hair catching the firelight, eyes sweeping the crowd like he already owned every heartbeat in it.
Which I must say, he did.
He looked as perfect and untouchable as always, but as the wind shifted, a weird smell hit me. Something bitter under his usual Alpha scent. It was sour and for some reason, it made my stomach turn.
His voice cut through calm but heavy.
“Tonight the moon calls. Those who are ready will answer.”
My heart started hammering so hard. Then, a pull, deep in my chest.
My spine cracked loud, sickening pops that echoed in my own skull. I felt it lengthen and reshape itself. Then the fur came, thick, black and swallowing every scrap of torchlight around me. My fingers curled and fused and my eyesight became clear as day and I could count the terrified faces staring back at me.
And then I was standing.
Huge and taller than any wolf I’d ever seen
And then, the silence broke in a different way.
For twenty-two years, I had smelled like nothing but now, a scent I never thought I had exploded from my skin so powerful it made the wolves in the front row gag and stumble back.
It was the smell of rare flowers that only bloom in the dark. Midnight Orchid and Ozone. The scent of a Queen.
For one beautiful second, I wasn't the scentless mutt anymore. I was a storm. I looked at Jax, the man who had spent years making me feel like nothing and I didn't feel afraid. I saw the way his heart hammered against his ribs. I saw him trip over his own feet just to get away from me
A low, dangerous growl rolled up from my chest.
“WE ARE HERE”. Her voice was velvet wrapped around iron. My wolf. But along with her voice came a terrifying, numbing cold.
“Shadow Wolf,” someone whispered. The word spread like fire. “Curse… Monster…”
I lifted my head and locked eyes with Alpha Kairos. The bond slammed into me so hard I almost staggered. His scent drowned me, pine smoke and raw power. My wolf lunged forward in my mind, howling one shattering word.
“MATE”.
For one stupid, perfect heartbeat I believed it. Maybe he would cross the circle, cup my face and whisper the words I’d dreamed of hearing since I was a child.
Please, I begged silently. Please let this be real.
Kairos stepped forward. For a heartbeat, the bond flared between us, a sudden, beautiful warmth but his eyes stayed cold as ice.
“A monster like you could never be my Luna.
He didn't just reject me. He looked at me like I was a disease he had to burn out before it spread.
“I know what your kind is, Elara," he said, his voice dropping to a deadly skin-crawl. "My father wasn't killed in battle. He was hunted like an animal by a Shadow Wolf. Your kind doesn't want a pack; you want prey. I won't let you turn my people into your next meal.”
The pack erupted. “Kill her! Exile the curse!”
A stone struck my shoulder, sharp enough to bruise but I barely registered it.
Then Elder Mara stepped forward with a satisfied, victorious smile on her lips
"I knew it," she hissed, her voice trembling with a strange, dark hunger. "I knew that cursed blood would eventually show its face” she said, loud enough for the stars to hear. “The moon has finally shown us the truth. You were born to be extinguished, Elara. And tonight, I’ll ensure the prophecy ends with you.”
Elder Mara declared. She looked at me not with fear, but with the cold eyes of a predator who had finally trapped its prey.
I looked at Kairos, pleading silently. Please, say something.
"You are banished from the Eclipse Pack," Kairos said. "Leave and do not return."
The words landed like a death sentence. I hit the ground on all fours, paws trembling, a raw sob ripping out.
"Please," I whispered through the bond, even though he couldn't hear. "Don't do this."
But the link only echoed his cold emptiness back at me as tears soaked my fur. I was nothing again, worse than nothing.
I had spent years imagining my mate would be the one to finally tell the world they were wrong about me. But as he stood there with eyes like a cold flint, I realized the truth.
I hadn't found a savior. I’d found the man who was going to finish what the pack started.
I wanted to beg, to scream "Why?" but my throat closed. All I could do was run.
My paws slammed the earth. The crowd parted apart like I was plague itself. Insults chased me “freak,” “killer,” “cursed bitch”—but they sounded far away, muffled under the roar of blood in my ears.
I crashed through the tree line until the dark forest swallowed me up. Branches lashed my face, my flanks. My lungs burned. Tears streamed sideways across fur I still didn’t recognize as mine.
Why him? Why the one person meant to protect me?
I didn't get an answer. Instead, a new sound cut through the wind.
A chorus of howls erupted from the village behind me, fast, angry, and bloodthirsty. They weren't just letting me go. Jax and the warriors had shifted. They were coming for me, and they weren't planning on escorting me to the border.
They were hunting a monster.
“Catch the monster!”
“Don’t let it escape!”
“Kill the curse before it spreads!”
And in this forest, the moon I had prayed to my whole life was now a spotlight for my execution.
I had no pack. I had no mate. And in this dark, I had nowhere left to hide.
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